I know these are getting old, but these few were hilarious

Mikeyrat · Post by **Mikeyrat** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:38 am

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles is based on a true story: Chuck Norris once swallowed a turtle whole, and when he crapped it out, the turtle was six feet tall and had learned karate.

Chuck Norris once roundhouse kicked someone so hard that his foot broke the speed of light, went back in time, and killed Amelia Earhart while she was flying over the Pacific Ocean.

The opening scene of the movie "Saving Private Ryan" is loosely based on games of dodgeball Chuck Norris played in second grade.

Chuck Norris once ate a whole cake before his friends could tell him there was a stripper in it.

When an episode of Walker Texas Ranger was aired in France, the French surrendered to Chuck Norris just to be on the safe side.

Chuck Norris can blow bubbles with beef jerky.

shiram · Post by **shiram** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 10:55 am

i liked the stripper one
but like most everything, too much is just too much

shiram · Post by **shiram** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 2:42 pm

and if you want a real 'badass'
check out Steven Seagal's wikipedia
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Steven_Seagal

the bits about kicking people in the testicles and groping porn star are particularly macho...

Mikeyrat · Post by **Mikeyrat** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 3:37 pm

Hey, I even made up my own today!!!

When Chuck Norris is horny, even the crack of dawn ain't safe.

flint · Post by **flint** » Fri Mar 24, 2006 4:21 pm

go sit in the corner mikey

Bane · Post by **Bane** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 5:45 am

Hahaha!

lol @ Mikey's last post

shortthang · Post by **shortthang** » Sat Mar 25, 2006 2:27 pm

lol @flint...good times

StormCrow · Post by **StormCrow** » Sun Mar 26, 2006 12:29 am

rofl mikey that was a pretty damn good one