post your jokes here if you got them.
Here's one I read recently that (while being very predictable) made me chuckle:
One dark night outside a small town near Poulsbo,Washington, a fire started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded into massive flames.
The alarm went out to all the fire departments for miles around. When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, "All our secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out intact."
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate.
As the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now $100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company's secret files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65. To everyone's amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle of the inferno.
Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire and fought it back on all sides.
It was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished the fire and had saved the secret formulas.
The grateful chemical company president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on film, asking their chief, "What are you going to do with all that money?"
"Vell," said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, "Da first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!"
"
snicker
snicker
"Environmentalism as a metaphysical ideology and as a worldview has absolutely nothing to do with natural sciences or with the climate."
An historical reporter was interviewing an old pilot from World War II, and asked, "What was your most harrowing experience?"
The octagenarian flyer said, using his hands to simulate airplanes engaged in aerial combat, "...well, I looked off to my left and at 10'oclock low was one of them fokkers all alone. I rolled onto my left wing and dove at him and made a deflection shot from about his 4 o'clock. That fokker burst into a big fireball, let me tell you! I pulled up to my right just to see FIFTEEN more of them fokkers diving on me out of the sun!! And so I..."
The reporter, growing ever nervous that the old airman may be misunderstood, interrupted his tale, "For those of you watching at home, a "Fokker" refers to German aircraft built by the Fokker Aircraft Company, named after its founder Anthony Fokker, in 1919..."
The old pilot looked sardonically at the reporter and said, "Yeah, but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts!"
(Name the movie this is from, and the movie's "historical" significance, and win 10 pts.)
The octagenarian flyer said, using his hands to simulate airplanes engaged in aerial combat, "...well, I looked off to my left and at 10'oclock low was one of them fokkers all alone. I rolled onto my left wing and dove at him and made a deflection shot from about his 4 o'clock. That fokker burst into a big fireball, let me tell you! I pulled up to my right just to see FIFTEEN more of them fokkers diving on me out of the sun!! And so I..."
The reporter, growing ever nervous that the old airman may be misunderstood, interrupted his tale, "For those of you watching at home, a "Fokker" refers to German aircraft built by the Fokker Aircraft Company, named after its founder Anthony Fokker, in 1919..."
The old pilot looked sardonically at the reporter and said, "Yeah, but these fokkers were flying Messerschmidts!"
(Name the movie this is from, and the movie's "historical" significance, and win 10 pts.)
Old Man.